>Radiation Day 16

>Three weeks down. Three and half to go.  At least this morning there were no computer glitches.  Still it’s a Monday. Sometimes I really don’t like Mondays.  I hope someone has some Brie handy, because I’m in a whiny mood tonight for sure.  I’m tired. For some reason, sleep is getting harder.  I’ll have to mention it to the doctor tomorrow. But since it’s not keeping me from functioning, I doubt they will be too concerned about it.

Those of you who know me, know I’m a complete book geek. I’m always reading something. I’m most comfortable in room full of books, whether it is a school library, a public library, a book store, or my bedroom which has books stacked everywhere.  I don’t just read. I multi-read – multi-tasking at it’s best.  And of course when I need information on something, I read up on that topic.  Mixed in with the stacks of young adult novels and mysteries, I have several books on breast cancer in my every growing to read pile.

I mentioned on Saturday that the book I was reading on Friday, rather put me in a funk – I’m still stewing on it.  So I set it aside for a while and I’ve been reading Nancy Brinker’s  Promise Me: How A Sister’s Love Launched a Global Movement to End Breast Cancer.  It’s a fabulous book. But it’s not an easy read.  Yesterday I was feeling under the weather, so I spent most of the afternoon on the sofa reading. Anyone who has ever heard of the Susan G. Komen For The Cure, knows how this book is going to turn out.  It’s not as though there will be a surprise ending.   I knew this would be an emotional read. I thought I was prepared for it.  Obviously not. Thankfully, it was just me, the two dogs and the hedgehog so I could read and cry and read some more.  I’m only halfway through the book and I think I’m over the truly rough part – Susan’s battle with the cancer.  Still that battle is resonating with me.   I am in complete awe of a woman who was in agonizing pain and still her thought was for others.  The promise referred to in the title is the one Susan made Nancy give her – the promise that they would do something to help the women fighting breast cancer  – something to make it better.

And that is why I get irritated with myself. I’m tired.   I’m a complete mess. I’m feeling under the weather (is it possible to feel over the weather?) I’m tired and I have a horrible urge to dig out the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups that I have hidden in a place only I know about.  I’m not sure I can make any sense. (Perhaps a little chocolate would make me coherent.)  But I’m not in agonizing pain. My hair is not falling out.  My appetite is just fine, perhaps too fine.  Some might say I should cut myself a little slack.   I’m sure Susan Koman had some bad days where she felt sorry for herself and her sister might have left that part of the story out of the book.  Or maybe I glossed over it in my reading because I was so in awe.

But despite being whiny tonight. I don’t want to cut myself any slack. I want to fight back.  I want to help Nancy Brinker keep that promise to her sister.  I want to find a way to make a difference.

I recently read a fiction book about Army wives: You Know When the Men Are Gone by Siobahn Fallon.  One of the wives in the book was battling breast cancer.  A few days after finishing the book, I saw something on TV about a real life Army wife who is breast cancer survivor and has started an organization Cindy’s Hope Chest to help women fighting breast cancer.  I believe I mentioned this in a  previous post. This got me to wondering about the number of military wives that might be battling breast cancer.  So far my super ninja librarian skills have failed me in my efforts to find any information.  If you google Army wives and breast cancer you get the TV show and their wonderful efforts to support breast cancer awareness.  Battling breast cancer is not easy. Being an Army wife has it’s challenges, too.  Combine the two and the challenges multiply greatly.  My husband is nearing retirement, so the challenges for me are not as great as they could be.  But that may not be the case for others.  I want to make a difference for everyone fighting breast cancer, but I especially want to make a difference for my fellow Army wives.

Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. I promise to consider them when I’m feeling “over the weather.”

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